the grass is always greener, and/or, get up, get up , get dancin' dancin', get up and move that body.

for some strange reason i've felt the overwhelming urge to pick up and take off in the night. pack my bags and disappear. when i surface again i want to end up in this little village. maybe i will farm sheep.

really though, i would probably lose my mind out there. i'm not ready to settle down, as much as i wish i was. i want to want to read books in that brown cabin with the red roof. i want to want to farm sheep. i want to want to be isolated in the dark. this is a feeling i always have and i think it's representative of an overall unhappiness. it doesn't bottom me out to think of it as that because it's something that i recognize and realize i can change. i want to be able to enjoy my envisioned ideal life now, yes, but i feel like i'm getting closer to that then ever and once i can actually exist in this mellow/neutral state then i will really be happy. at the same time, what i see as my perfect place now will no doubt change by the time i get to the point of actually enjoying it or even experiencing it and knowing this takes the edge off. i'm sure that certain aspects of what i want now will remain in my final place but not all of them.

the thought that one is happier elsewhere always. the unhappy are always happy somewhere else.

i want to smile in detroit, and then i want to visit gjogv.

i'm also pretty happy where i am.

the three feet around me.