my piano and your pencils.

they could sit side by side.
i would have an ashtray on top of the piano that you would sometimes bicker about but sometimes we would drink wine and you would stub out the occasional cigarette yourself and i'd never call you out.
maybe we'd have breakfast, certainly coffee, in the mornings and then i'd be off to work and you would have hours alone to draw yourself out of this town, enough that you'd be okay sticking around. i'd get home and you'd be out.
i'd make dinner.
i would play piano and think. i would read my book that i've been reading for years. you would've watered the plants and finally they'd be coming back to life. i've never been good with plants. your key would hit the lock. the tibetan elephants would jangle to life. the switch on the kettle would be flipped and water would be boiled for tea.
you would tell me where you'd spent the morning, i'd tell you where i'd spent the night. they would accompany each other nicely.
my hand would drift asleep atop your belly.
my heating bill would go down.
the bristles of your toothbrush would sleep quietly next to mine.

busy bee

i need to:

• finish the zine
• rehearse 4 times
• eat/grocery shop
• laundry
• finish the bass parts
• fix my amp
• work
• play on the 29th
• open a show on the 7th
• dj the night of the 7th
• play the 8th
• drive to texas on the 9th
• blow my mind for 8 days and fly home
• sleep
• be a friend/son/brother
• eat some vegetables
• make money
• finish a record
• build a little volcano
• x-country ski
• see contemporary dance
• have cigarettes
• settle down
  

take it easy to the max

tonite i:
-saw the emily carr dance thing-a-ma-jig with veda hille at market hall.
-the cam malcolm militia and jon mackiel band at the moho.
-matthew barber at the red dog.

i was going to stay home and sleep but instead did a bunch of things.

going to see my first ever dance show was the best thing i did. i was super impressed. will pay attention to all things that happen in this town now in contemporary dance. veda sounded amazing and the dancers were rad. i'm going to try and see them tomorrow night again. very rarely something comes to town that i'd like to see twice, unless it's food.

the cam malcolm militia was great. so good to see/hear cam play again. and with his brother. so sweet... one of those musicians that i really try and pay attention to.

the second band, from halifax, the jon mackiel band, were great as well. i planned on finishing my beer and leaving but got caught up on listening to them. stayed for the whole set...

...

p.s. the moon was totally gnar last night. wasn't excited till the shit got red. mike and i use to sit out on chairs at my cottage on the winter ice and chant "celestial events! celestial events!" and then would cheer when we'd see a shooting star or some other space phenomenon. last night we got to watch it from home pretty much.
thanks world.

p.p.s. i'm on hardly any sleep and have a big night planned for tomorrow. sleep tight you white janitors.

jwpb

i have renewed faith

in: -what i am doing -who i am -who we all are -the magic of jam -sigur ros -the power of cleaning -winter -perspective and identity -my dad.

On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load

i totally janked my neck this morning.
was shutting my alarm clock off.
tweaked it.
it almost made me puke.
i'm working it out now.

it's stiff.
i ran.
i swam.
i hottubbed.

it needs more coffee i think.

also, i have joined the masses of cross country skiing.
it is amazing.
i just need boots now.
the ones i borrowed were too small.
i got skis.
and 2 different size poles.
i will be in jeans ripping the trails if you're looking for me.

ontario

so a friend said she read my blog and said i'm still a country boy and my roots are still there.

...

this is where my head sleeps.

...

i cannot argue.

a taste of complete perspective

a drawing by eric shaw.

sometimes i feel like i'm at my best, or happiest, when i'm out of my element. no i'm not talking about my car. i can do well in it as well, grant you today mike got it stuck in the back rhubarb cause my snow tires are embarassing, or non-existent. the dudes at crappy tire shake their heads when i tell them i'm driving to winnipeg on curling shoes. ramble ramble ramble...

you should see me run a triathalon on an empty stomach in skateboard shoes, with a hangover. spur of the moment.

... the bike this old dude lent me broke and then i took a left when i should've taken a right and still was able to come back and pass this old dude. shitty thing about it was, as i approached this old dude, this was at the running part of the race, i was all psyched. i was like "okay i'm going to burn by this guy, not say anything, just pass him and carry on to the end." i didn't want it to be awkward for him. and i was like "perfect, keep your head down". so as i pull up beside him, and i was a mess... felt like i was going to die, fading away...psycho babble at 11... he turns to me, and he goes "the name's jim smith (name changed). we gonna finish this thing together or what?" and i was like "yeah, jim, yeah". i had to. he was too nice and wanted companionship down the final stretch of loss. and we did... but as i was approaching the finish line, and there's the people cheering us on (sidenote: i'm a total loser who didn't get laid at the awards ceremony afterparty obviously) i had this great epiphany. when someone checks the score of an event or tournament, they always check the first place and last place person, i've found. i was in a 3-on-3 basketball tournament when i was in grade 6 and i remember going into the last game, playing for the D-championship ( the last place game) and thinking that "hey we should throw the game and get last place that way at least people will see our names." unfortunately we won and were lost amid the pile of amateur sports losers, never to be seen. as if we could've thrown the game. it was a battle. anyways, as we crossed the line i was proud. i'd come last. my name would be seen and people would say "that guy, altough he isn't an athlete, sure has heart" it was noble to slow down and cross the line together.

i ate some orange slices and drank some water.

i walked over to the window that the times were posted on and...

i was second last.

i was hungover, dehydrated, my feet hurt and i was second last... not even good at losing.